What it means to be Multicultural.

I am half Filipino, quarter Black, and quarter Hispanic but as far back as I can remember people have identified me as half black and half white. This is based on the assumption that because I am darker I must be black but because I am not “black-black” I must have some white in me. This is just one of the many challenges that those of multicultural backgrounds face. Though there are many upsides to being mixed it comes with its fair share of hardships. I remember finding out what I was in elementary particularly because when I found out I was Hispanic I was ashamed because classmates of mine would look down upon the other Hispanic children in my class. This somehow made me feel less of person because I did not want to be disliked based on the color of my skin, so I became ashamed of what I was. Today I could not be more proud of my Hispanic heritage, especially the work ethic that comes from this culture, but to try to explain to a seven year old not to be ashamed of something that everyone else seems to be is a daunting task. After this incident occurred the jokes began and have carried on even till this day, even by some of my closest friends and the jokes always center around the fact that somehow I am not black enough, that I do not measure up to some amount of blackness.

“Hey Matan you’re the whitest black kid I know.” “You’re an Oreo.” “I’m blacker than you.”

And to these jokes I always respond with the question “What does it mean to be black?” You define me as a “white-black” kid based on demeanor or image that I put forth; because I speak eloquently, was raised by two white parents, and was part of the “gifted” program this somehow demotes me from a certain amount of blackness. Black is not defined by what is ghetto or poor, it is a somehing that you descend from, and something that no one should have to prove. Furthermore, I am also Filipino and Hispanic so in turn I must the whitest Filipino and Hispanic kid you know. But people never comment about my other cultures because when they see dark they assume Black and let me make this clear, this ignorance comes from people of all colors. I have been shunned by White people, Black people, and Hispanic people; and what I believe to be the hardest thing about being multiracial is trying to find your own identity.

You are constantly being pulled in different directions and trying to balance it all, comes hard to many multicultural people. Imagine being half White and half Black like my brother, who is made fun of by White kids for being an “Oreo” but is called high-yellow by Black kids. How do you deal with racism when you are bi-racial? What is found with many half White and half Black children is that they begin to hate the White part of them, when they begin to learn about the atrocities that occurred for hundreds of years and continue to this day or even worse when they trace back their lineage and find out that their White part comes from racist rapists. Or imagine being part Hispanic and part Black and growing up in the projects where it is known that Hispanics and Blacks do not get along. I have seen this first hand while I was volunteering down in Watts; where these Black children were having a birthday party with a moon-bounce, slip-n-slides, and all that jazz and I noticed these three Hispanic children watching from about 30 yards away. And I asked why they were not playing and it was because they were not allowed to play with the other Black children in the neighborhood. Being part Hispanic and part Black, how do I deal with information like this? Which side do I take? Or take myself for example a multicultural child adopted by two white parents, brought up in what people would call a white-world, not having an ethnic family to teach me about the aspects of my cultures, and trying to build an identity. By no means do I believe I am a victim, I deal with hardships that others might not face, but I am extremely proud to have been adopted by two white parents because not only does it show that we are growing as a people but I feel that it gives me a better understanding of race and race relations. I feel that the situation that I was born into gives me far more perspectives on race than the average person.

Lack of identity is something that I have always had to deal with and continue to deal with. I just felt that I needed to spread some light on what it is to be multicultural. What I am mainly tired of is having to defend my color and that because I step outside of social stereotypes I am questioned by everyone. I look forward to the day where color is no longer a social structure, where it exists and is embraced but never shunned. I am proud to be unique and proud to be special but I am also proud to be a human being.